YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN WHEN...
* The "road hog" in front of you on Main Street is a farmer's combine.
* The local phone book has only one yellow page.
* Third Street is on the edge of town.
* You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back
the next day, it's still there, on the same chair.
* You don't signal turns because everyone knows where you're going, anyway.
* No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.
* You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.
* Everyone knows all the news before it's published; they just read the hometown
paper to see whether the publisher got it right.
* The city limits signs are both on the same post!
* The City jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell.
* The McDonalds only has one Golden Arch.
* The 7-11 is a 3 1/2 - 5 1/2.
* The one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both directions.
* The phone book has only one page.
* There's nothing doing every minute.
* The ZIP code is a fraction.
* Second Street is in the next town over.
* There's no place to go that you shouldn't.
* A "Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes.
* The mayor had to annex property to eat a foot-long hot dog.
* The New Year's baby was born in October.