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Some jokes of the male chauvinist type


How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me . . ."

How do you fix a woman's watch?You don't. There's a clock on the

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
drive by 90%. It's called Wedding Cake.

Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring,

Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV"
I said,"Dust!"

A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo
Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She
looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That
happens in every country, son."

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the
same thing: "You can have mine."

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they look